What is Gender?

There is a great question posted by Pam regarding "gender".  I thought this lovely visual from itspronouncedmetrosexual.com would help explain.  The term Gender-Variant really just means someone doesn't fit into what society feels is appropriate for their biological sex.  It is all about society's views on what we can and can't do based on our organs.  Pretty darn ridiculous if you ask me!  Our son prefers all toys, clothing, styling, and play styles that our society would consider "female" preferences.  That is his "gender expression" and it would be considered female.  His identity also comes into the equation because at this time he is still figuring it out, but he is in the "two spirit" section on the diagram above.  His attraction has yet to be determined, it is entirely separate from the other categories listed in the diagram and develops in a different area of the brain, sometime before puberty.  Biological sex is a touchy subject.  Ask a gender-variant or transgender person what is in their pants and you will probably be offending them.  How would you feel if someone asked you?  A bit intrusive, right?  Our son is anatomically male.  I know your next thought... are we going to change that?  No.  Surprised?  Most transgender adults find that once everything else falls into place and their expression matches their identity, they no longer feel the need to surgically change their sex organs.  Some do, but most don't.  It is a tricky surgery and changes a lot of things, and for many people the benefits do not outweigh the risks.  I hope that our son has enough time to find his true identity and feel comfortable in his own skin.  I hope that he never wants to take that risk, but it will be up to him to decide at a much later date.  Some time before puberty we will start a drug called "puberty blockers", which is essentially like a pause button on puberty.  Just more time to figure it out before his body morphs into something he is not comfortable with.  I will explain more on blockers later.  For now we will continue to work on matching his expression with his identity and building a strong solid foundation of love and support.